Choosing the right time
is not easy, but you can use the following
as a guide for opportunities to introduce the subject of sex and what you expect
of them.
1.
Tell them why!
Do you want your child to wait until they're older? Until they are
in a committed relationship? Until they know how to practice safer sex?
Say,
"I'm worried about your health and your future. I want
to make sure you are safe."
2. Look for teachable moments.
For example, you can talk about reasons for waiting after you watch
a TV programme about HIV or teen pregnancy.
Or, you can bring up the subject of dating when you see two people
holding hands in public.
3. Openly discuss HIV, STDs and Pregnancy.
Studies show that giving young people accurate information about birth
control and safer sex DOES NOT increase sexual activity.
In fact, for some young people, sexually transmitted diseases or infections
(STDs or STIs) and unplanned pregnancy are strong reasons to wait.
4. Start talking early-even before they start dating.
Help your child think through the decision to wait before he or she
is in a serious relationship.
Say, "I know you're not dating yet, but I want you to be prepared
when you start."
Talk about it again when he or she starts to date.
5. Let them know that it is OK to have sexual
feelings.
Tell your child that sexual feelings are normal and natural - but
they don't have to act on them!
Teach your teenager to show love and affection in other ways - for
example, they can give gifts or spend special time together.
If your teen does have sex, you can still encourage abstinence. But
make sure they have the facts about birth control and safer sex, too!!
Some young people decide to wait after having a sexual experience.
6. Teach them how to say "NO!"
Say, "What would you do if your date wanted to have sex -
and you did not?"
Suggest that they talk about limits in the relationship early on,
before things heat up.
7. Give them tips for avoiding sexual pressure.
Discuss times when it may be hard to say no. such as when they are
alone with a date, or when they are dating someone older.
Suggest avoiding those situations by planning group activities or
visiting public places.
Let them know that using alcohol or other substances such as drugs
may make it harder for them to say no.
8. Help them plan for the future.
Ask your teenager, "What are your goals? Where do you want
to be in one year? Five years? Ten years?"
Explain how the consequences of unprotected sexual intercourse could
get in the way of their plans for the future.
Let your son or daughter know that he or she is important - too important
to risk an early or unwanted pregnancy or STD.